Goodbyes are difficult..no matter how long,for what or in some cases forever ?
We have all been through the emotional loss of losing a loved one either to death,distance or relationships.
This blogpost is dedicated to one of my best pals who lost his dad in India ,a few days ago.
May "boyfriend appa's" ( that is how I called him ) soul rest in piece and may his family have the strength to move on.
During one of those losses in my life,I wondered whether I would smile again.
While there is no easy way around the grief and shock most people experience after a sudden loss, there are things you can do to make it through those first difficult days and weeks.
I have lost friends and loved ones and the last year has been particularly difficult in so many ways.
Memories are everywhere to haunt you.
Yes,I do meditate but isn't loss beyond meditation or prayers or positive thinking..
I have been lucky enough to have friends who helped me through my difficult times.People who have been there for emotional support.It is very important to have people who care about you to help you through this difficult time in your life.
In fact,these are the times when you know who your real friends are.
It is possible that you will be in a very distraught state that you would not want to do anything.
Your health needs to be your topmost priority.It is easy to go back into the loop of thinking that begins and ends with "why me ?".
Remember,you always need your health to get you back on your feet again.
It is important to give yourself permission to experience your hurt. Whether you feel angry or sad, scared or confused, it is OK. There is no such thing as a "normal" reaction to a sudden loss.Every reaction is acceptable and unique.
This is a great time to do a lot of introspection.
The wonderful thing about us is that we have the strength to make it through tough times.
When my grandfather passed away,I reminded myself of all the wonderful times I had with him while growing up as a young child and a teenager.His anecdotes and power that I loved.It helped me deal with his loss much better.
Another example is when the love of my life left,yes just left my life for no reason that I could put my finger on completely.The memories are painful to this date but there are so many positive aspects of that relationship that help me heal myself and others in such a wonderful way.In this case,I did not have closure but I know in my heart that it is impossible for people to just forget people and the love shared.I still believe in people after all that transpired.
This is the time to journal a lot and say goodbye with your own ritual..Some goodbyes have taken me years,some several months and the truth is some,never..
I have learnt that it is very important to have a support system when you are coping with a loss.
I also pampered myself a great deal when I have dealt with my own losses.I cooked often and made a lot of people happy with good food.You need to choose something that helps you spread your happiness and convert all your melancholy.
More than anything else,I gave myself time.In some cases,I still give myself time.Time heals..It is true..
and it is indeed,a Divine teacher in disguise.
Loss can create great transformations..
I have a little wooden placard in my office that reads,"The good thing about MIRACLES is that they happen everyday "..How true ! Some pleasant..Some not so pleasant..but everything for the ultimate good.
Heal well..
Blessings
Vaidya Priyanka
I have lost friends and loved ones and the last year has been particularly difficult in so many ways.
Memories are everywhere to haunt you.
Yes,I do meditate but isn't loss beyond meditation or prayers or positive thinking..
I have been lucky enough to have friends who helped me through my difficult times.People who have been there for emotional support.It is very important to have people who care about you to help you through this difficult time in your life.
In fact,these are the times when you know who your real friends are.
It is possible that you will be in a very distraught state that you would not want to do anything.
Your health needs to be your topmost priority.It is easy to go back into the loop of thinking that begins and ends with "why me ?".
Remember,you always need your health to get you back on your feet again.
Everything seems overwhelming when you have lost someone close to you..loss can be because of relationships turning sour or distance or death or a combination of other factors.
What is really hurting 'inside' you no one can ever identify with ? It is a painful and personal experience.
The reality is that the tears can flow anytime,sans warning.Associations of memories can trigger anytime.
You need people who understand you to be around you during this time or learn to be with yourself.
It is important to give yourself permission to experience your hurt. Whether you feel angry or sad, scared or confused, it is OK. There is no such thing as a "normal" reaction to a sudden loss.Every reaction is acceptable and unique.
This is a great time to do a lot of introspection.
The wonderful thing about us is that we have the strength to make it through tough times.
When my grandfather passed away,I reminded myself of all the wonderful times I had with him while growing up as a young child and a teenager.His anecdotes and power that I loved.It helped me deal with his loss much better.
Another example is when the love of my life left,yes just left my life for no reason that I could put my finger on completely.The memories are painful to this date but there are so many positive aspects of that relationship that help me heal myself and others in such a wonderful way.In this case,I did not have closure but I know in my heart that it is impossible for people to just forget people and the love shared.I still believe in people after all that transpired.
This is the time to journal a lot and say goodbye with your own ritual..Some goodbyes have taken me years,some several months and the truth is some,never..
I have learnt that it is very important to have a support system when you are coping with a loss.
I also pampered myself a great deal when I have dealt with my own losses.I cooked often and made a lot of people happy with good food.You need to choose something that helps you spread your happiness and convert all your melancholy.
More than anything else,I gave myself time.In some cases,I still give myself time.Time heals..It is true..
and it is indeed,a Divine teacher in disguise.
Loss can create great transformations..
I have a little wooden placard in my office that reads,"The good thing about MIRACLES is that they happen everyday "..How true ! Some pleasant..Some not so pleasant..but everything for the ultimate good.
Heal well..
Blessings
Vaidya Priyanka
