Driving friendly memories...

Like everyone in this world,I have had some friendships that have stood the test of time.Nevertheless,there have been some friendships that have lasted only a short while but have taught me so much.
Why some of these friendships end is a question worth pondering about..
When I drive long distances,I sometimes allow the fresh air to mingle with my locks,I turn off the music or the radio and think..think about everything and all the people I have had the honour of sharing the planet with.
Some brought a smile,some,a naughty grin,some tears,some concern and some overwhelming gratitude.
It made me wonder whether I was a good friend.Whether 'all' the choices I had made with those relationships were correct ?It made me realize very quickly that none of us are perfect,we just strive to be...
The memories that have left a lasting impact with regard to my friendships need not necessarily be associated with laughter,some had the deepest melancholy written all over it..It is the fact that we stood by each other through all that and some,which made those relationships stronger.
There are some friends who I never get to see often because they live so far away but I did realise that I think of them so fondly and ever so often.
I have realised that I do not have enemies in my life.Just friends who are not so friendly anymore.It took awhile but I realise that it is so much better to not have "bad" emotions associated with "good" memories.
I have no regrets in my life.Every day has taught me something in the form of a conversation,association or words.
However,I do have strong regrets that some people who mattered so much to me as I did to them are not physically present to share a meal,a conversation,a hug,a smile or a happening.
I do believe in my heart,that the true test of friendship is when times are tough,inabilities soar over abilities,looks fade and such but your telephone still rings,your door still gets knocks,the inbox of your email are still full,brimming with concern and love,with fond memories of gratitude.
Real friends love you for what you mean to them with none of the packaging that you come with.They love you unconditionally.They love you even if there is no glitter for awhile.
That was one long drive .The journey from San Jose to San Francisco could not have been longer and more magical.I laughed,smiled,cried and finally arrived 12 minutes early for a meeting looking like a raccoon( thanks to the breathtaking combination of tears and kajal).I probably drove slow,when the emotions were hard and fast when the joyous raptures took over my memory.
I realised that the greatest friendship in the world we all have should primarily be with ourselves,so that we are prepared for anything that is thrown at us.We have to be a good friend in training at all times.
I always remember in my heart that everything happens for a reason (though sometimes I might not really make peace with it immediately..).
Anything that shakes you from the core is for a good reason.
I do not speak "negativity" into existence anymore.(even for a second)
The true test is when everything is being hurled at you and with the greatest calmness and hospitality,you can receive it all and say,"are you done ?"..
I have so much gratitude for all my friendships,the not so good,the good,the better,the best and the greatest.They(in their own unique way) have made me the woman that I am today.
Take the time to drive..and to lament..to think of everyone...who has been responsible to make you the person you are today...
It will be worth the drive...

Saying Goodbye !!

Goodbyes are difficult..no matter how long,for what or in some cases forever ?

We have all been through the emotional loss of losing a loved one either to death,distance or relationships.

This blogpost is dedicated to one of my best pals who lost his dad in India ,a few days ago.

May "boyfriend appa's" ( that is how I called him ) soul rest in piece and may his family have the strength to move on.

While losing someone you love is always painful, losing someone in tragic or unexpected circumstances may leave you feeling confused and afraid.

During one of those losses in my life,I wondered whether I would smile again.

While there is no easy way around the grief and shock most people experience after a sudden loss, there are things you can do to make it through those first difficult days and weeks.

I have lost friends and loved ones and the last year has been particularly difficult in so many ways.
Memories are everywhere to haunt you.
Yes,I do meditate but isn't loss beyond meditation or prayers or positive thinking..

I have been lucky enough to have friends who helped me through my difficult times.People who have been there for emotional support.It is very important to have people who care about you to help you through this difficult time in your life.
In fact,these are the times when you know who your real friends are.

It is possible that you will be in a very distraught state that you would not want to do anything.
Your health needs to be your topmost priority.It is easy to go back into the loop of thinking that begins and ends with "why me ?".
Remember,you always need your health to get you back on your feet again.

Everything seems overwhelming when you have lost someone close to you..loss can be because of relationships turning sour or distance or death or a combination of other factors.

What is really hurting 'inside' you no one can ever identify with ? It is a painful and personal experience.

The reality is that the tears can flow anytime,sans warning.Associations of memories can trigger anytime.

You need people who understand you to be around you during this time or learn to be with yourself.

It is important to give yourself permission to experience your hurt. Whether you feel angry or sad, scared or confused, it is OK. There is no such thing as a "normal" reaction to a sudden loss.Every reaction is acceptable and unique.
This is a great time to do a lot of introspection.

The wonderful thing about us is that we have the strength to make it through tough times.

When my grandfather passed away,I reminded myself of all the wonderful times I had with him while growing up as a young child and a teenager.His anecdotes and power that I loved.It helped me deal with his loss much better.

Another example is when the love of my life left,yes just left my life for no reason that I could put my finger on completely.The memories are painful to this date but there are so many positive aspects of that relationship that help me heal myself and others in such a wonderful way.In this case,I did not have closure but I know in my heart that it is impossible for people to just forget people and the love shared.I still believe in people  after all that transpired.

This is the time to journal a lot and say goodbye with your own ritual..Some goodbyes have taken me years,some several months and the truth is some,never..

I have learnt that it is very important to have a support system when you are coping with a loss.
I also pampered myself a great deal when I have dealt with my own losses.I cooked often and made a lot of people happy with good food.You need to choose something that helps you spread your happiness and convert all your melancholy.

More than anything else,I gave myself time.In some cases,I still give myself time.Time heals..It is true..
and it is indeed,a Divine teacher in disguise.

Loss can create great transformations..

I have a little wooden placard in my office that reads,"The good thing about MIRACLES is that they happen everyday "..How true ! Some pleasant..Some not so pleasant..but everything for the ultimate good.

Heal well..
Blessings
Vaidya Priyanka